NAVIGATING THE POSTPARTUM PERIOD, PART I
When growing a baby, there’s a huge emphasis placed on nurturing the pregnant parent. There are multiple appointments with OB/GYNs or midwives, baby showers to celebrate the budding life, and almost everyone—strangers included!—gets incredibly excited about the expanding belly and want to talk birth. Yet after the baby is born, a Cinderella-esque scenario often arises. The ball is over and the parent turns back into a pumpkin (despite looking less pumpkin-like!). Their needs often get overlooked as focus falls on the baby.
New mothers need nurturing. New fathers need nurturing.
New parents need to be nurtured!
As an expecting parent, you can start preparing for your postpartum period now, ensuring that you will be nurtured (by yourself and others) and supported. If you’re already in the thick of the postpartum, you can start applying these strategies immediately to make sure you’re being cared for. While some of the text refers specifically to parents who’ve recently given birth, many of these tips can be employed by adoptive parents as well. If you only take away one lesson from here, let it be to ACCEPT HELP.
Preparing for the Postpartum Period
Food & Hydration
For me, as a mother to two elementary aged children, I find meal planning and prepping to be arduous and surprisingly difficult at times. Trying to feed yourself while caring for a newborn can be even more complicated. The following strategies can help make sure you’re eating regularly:
Freeze easy-to-reheat meals. Double a batch of your favorite soup, casserole, enchiladas, whatever when you make it in the next few weeks and throw half of it in the freezer for after baby is born (and eat the fresh half for your dinner that day!). Double batching also works well with baked goods like muffins. Add some to your freezer stash for an easy breakfast or snack on busier days.
Collect crockpot/instant pot recipes and experiment until you nail down some favorites. When I was getting married, the ladies of community held a shower for me and each attendee contributed a signature recipe to a special recipe box for me. I love the idea of doing something similar during a baby shower. Ask your loved ones to share their favorite simple crockpot recipe during your shower or via email. Dumping a bunch of ingredients into a crockpot can simplify meal prep and reduces having to juggle cooking with a baby.
Set-up a meal train. Seriously. Do it. Or, if you’re not comfortable asking folks to bring you food, have a trusted loved one or your doula set one up for you. I’ve spoken with many new parents who were afraid to ask friends, relatives, and co-workers to cook for them, but I promise you, most want to support you and would feed you with a happy heart. I once asked some friends to make a meal for a new mama in our community, assuming they all knew her personally. The very first person to sign up for a meal responded enthusiastically to the request and fed the mama and her family shortly after. Only later I learned that that friend and the new mama had actually never met. I still get shivers from that act of kindness. Meal Train or Take Them a Meal are a couple of options to consider. And be sure to send out-of-town loved ones links too because they can purchase restaurant gift cards for you.
Use a meal delivery service. If finances allow, consider using a local meal delivery service or one that comes through the mail. You can even “register” for these or ask for gift cards to them as shower gifts. Plenty Cville is an incredible option for folks in the Charlottesville, VA area.
Also, get yourself an awesome water bottle (maybe one with a reusable straw) and start carrying it with you now. Having a water bottle near you helps ensure that you are hydrating enough. Forming that habit now will help during the postpartum period.
Create several snack and hydration stashes in places where you think you may feed your baby most. It’s a good strategy to drink some water each time you feed child and you’ll want snacks in case you get stuck under a hungry or sleepy baby for an extended amount of time.
Feeding your baby
Make a lactation support plan. If you’re planning on breastfeeding/bodyfeeding or pumping milk, it’s helpful to know what your local resources are. You may not need to follow up with one, but having that information ready if you’re having challenges can save you from a lot of tears and worries. Some options to research are:
If your pediatrician’s office has a lactation consultant on staff
Independently practicing IBCLCs (internationally board certified lactation consultants)
Breastfeeding medicine departments at local hospitals
Peer-to-peer support programs such as Breastfeeding USA, La Leche League, and WIC
I encourage you to seek support from someone who specializes in lactation support. Not all care providers are well trained in that field.
If you know that you will be formula feeding your baby, have a conversation with a trusted care provider about the proper way to prepare formula and how to bottle-feed (it’s not as simple as popping a bottle in baby’s mouth).
If you plan on using donated milk, you can start freezing your stash now. Make sure you are receiving your milk from a trusted, safe source and make sure that it is being properly preserved. Since milk cannot be refrozen after being defrosted, you need to freeze small amounts (1-3 ounces) in their own containers/bags.
Managing Day to Day Necessities
Once you’re home with a newborn, it’s easy for simple forms of self care to start slipping and for household tasks to pile up. While it is probably unlikely that you will be able to maintain your pre-baby routine, you can make a game plan to make sure that the necessities are covered.
Make a shower schedule. It may seem a bit ridiculous to plan out when you’re going to shower, but as a parent whose youngest child is 6 years old, I still have to write “shower” on my to-do lists some days. If you have a partner or loved one who will be supporting you during this time, map out regular times for you to shower undisturbed. My recommendation is that you shower at least every other day. You deserve that little bit of alone time and warm water is soothing to postpartum bodies and swollen breasts, not to mention that feeling clean is refreshing. If you’re a single parent, as you get to know your baby, you will learn their rhythms and can plan your schedules around a sleepy period (want to have your baby close while you shower? place them in a bouncy chair or something similar on the bathroom floor).
Accept help & let the little things slide. This stage of life is one where your house may need to be just a bit messier. I recommend thinking about what tasks absolutely must be accomplished regularly and which ones make you feel best when they’re completed. Make those tasks priorities and let the other ones go untended for longer amounts of time. I also recommend making a list of chores that you could use help with and then place the list on your refrigerator in plain sight. If a visitor stops by and gives you the common “let me know if you need anything,” you can gratefully direct them to that list and ask if there’s something they’re comfortable taking on during the visit. Having a list of your needs prepared keeps you from having to awkwardly scramble and think through what needs to accomplished and gives your guest an idea of how to be helpful. Most people truly want to help you but don’t want to overstep by acting proactively. They need direction.
Accept the help. You deserve it.
All the strategies above can help you with the nitty gritty day-to-day navigation of the postpartum period. In “Navigating the Postpartum Period, Part II” I’ll be sharing more strategies focusing on your emotional, relational, and physical health. Stay tuned and, until then, be sure to sign up for my newsletter and download your own customizable postpartum plan!