2019: A Year in Review Through Self Portraiture

At the beginning of 2019, a tender-hearted woman from Colorado approached me in a shared photography Facebook group and invited me to join her self portrait community. Yearning for connection and creative growth, I eagerly accepted her invitation and soon found myself nestled into the warmest, most uplifting virtual community of fellow mothers.

Each week, Shea, the radiant soul facilitating the group, offered us prompts and meditations, then sent us to “get in the frame.” The year before, I had only managed to be in four photographs total. I was saddened that I didn’t have more images together with my family, but also, of myself. My goal for this project was to have more pictures of myself for my family and to practice new photography techniques…little did I know that self portraiture would turn into a therapeutic and healing practice.

The year 2019 was one full of struggle and growth, heartbreak and loneliness, joy and love, dancing and giggles. There were times where life was overwhelming and my path forward was unclear. I fell in love with my body and then out of love, angry about the chronic pain. Yet, I worked each day to honor it and find recognition of its beauty. There were times I felt desperately alone. Times where I wondered if my marriage would end. I often wondered if I were a sufficient parent and how I would survive yet another day at home with my children. But then dance parties and snuggles brought light. Connection from friends and loved ones softened my heart. Pockets of light shone through and propelled me forward.

Through self portraiture, I have processed intense emotions as well as celebrated the beauty that exists in my life. Each of the following photographs holds a specific and intimate meaning to me.

If you’re interested in undertaking a similar project and would enjoy being nourished and loved throughout the process (which I highly recommend!), consider joining Shea for 2020! She’s a remarkable! Click: https://www.sheakluender.com/mothering/